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Stop getting your panties in a bunch, sissy boy
Quotes From Candidates
Fictitious Quotes From Real Candidates
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I did not touch that waw-man! I don’t even know who that waw-man is! For-rizzle.
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Individual rights? Who needs individual rights when you have Jesus?
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Yes, this is how I eat corndogs. Fuck off, douche.”
-Rick Perry
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“Yes, this is how I eat corndogs. Fuck off, douche.”
-Michele Bachmann
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“Yes, this is how I eat ice cream. Fuck off, douche”
-Rick Santorum
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Yes, it’s true, my family’s hunting ground was called ‘Niggerhead.’ But, come on. Mitt’s family goes swimming in ‘Coon Creek.’ I don’t see y’all lynching him for that.
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Does anyone on this stage have any Fixodent? This is an emergency!
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Yes, I divorced my second wife after I found out she had cancer. But isn’t that what America’s all about? Out with the old and sickly, in with the new and sexy.
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I was never paid with tax-payer money from Freddy Mac. I provided a service, and happened to pick up a duffle bag filled with money from a hobo by the train tracks. What about that isn’t American?
